When Angels Fall, Who Catches Them?
by Gitana
Summary: Why is Ruby different from other demons? How come she can remember her humanity? Sam/Ruby
1. The Strangers

**When Angels Fall, Who Catches Them?**

**By:** Gitana  
**Rating/Timeline/Spoilers: **PG-13 – Somewhere between 4.03 ("In The Beginning") and 4.08 ("It's The Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester") No Spoilers.  
**Disclaimer:** None of it is mine, of course. That honor belongs to Mr. Eric Kripke and Warner Brothers.  
**Summary:** Why is Ruby different from other demons? How come she can remember her humanity?

* * *

**Ch. 1 - "The Strangers"**

Ruby was ten years old when she asked her mother about angels.

"Do they ever fall from heaven?" Ruby asked.

Her mother kept quiet for a few seconds.

"What do you mean, darling?"

"Like through the clouds, do they fall?"

Her mother smiled sweetly.

"Yes, they do. Sometimes."

Ruby sat up on her bed, extremely worried.

"Do they get hurt?"

"No, I don't think so."

"But when they fall, who catches them?"

Ruby's mother took a big breath, "People who need them." She said to Ruby. "When everything is good again, you take them in your hands and send them back to heaven."

"Like you do with birds?"

"Exactly like that. It helps them fly back faster."

-

Seven years after that bedside tale, Ruby's mother was dying. Her brother and father were already dead. The plague was killing everyone around them, only Ruby seemed to be immune which caused her great pain. She wasn't a little girl anymore, but watching her mother bleed to death made her go outside, look up to heaven and wait for an angel to fall. "It's okay, I'm going to catch you," Ruby repeated. Two hours later her mother died in her arms. Ruby swore she knew this would happen, she had seen it somehow in her dreams, in her nightmares. She figured she was crazy, losing her entire family had been too much for her.

Everyone around her was dead, family, friends, neighbors and even strangers passing through. She was dirty and stained with her family's blood. Ruby kept walking until she saw people, a town, something. A childless woman took her in immediately, bathed her and gave her clean clothes. Ruby wouldn't talk about where she was from and how she got there. The childless woman assumed Ruby was born from a prostitute and left for dead many years ago. Ruby neither confirmed nor denied this theory or any other - she let everyone believe whatever they wanted to believe.

One of the families living close to Ruby's house never trusted her. They feared her from the second she arrived looking like death and sickness. A "witch" is what they called her, even to her face. _She has tricked that poor woman into taking care of her,_ they whispered between themselves. Ruby never answered them or anyone else.

When a stranger about her age approached her, Ruby didn't look up. The stranger mentioned the incident about Ruby waiting for an angel to fall, "I'm so very late, I apologize."

Ruby answered still without looking up, "You are late, I don't need you anymore."

"Are you sure about that?" The stranger sat down next to Ruby.

"My family is gone, if you can't bring them back, I don't need you anymore or ever again." Ruby finally looked the stranger in the face. She had very strange eyes, some kind of color or light flashing, but Ruby didn't flinch.

"What about you? You don't need anything for yourself?"

"No."

"The woman who has taken care of you for a year is dying."

Ruby quickly jerked her head around, "What did you say?"

"Miss Lydia is dying. Do you again want to lose the only family you have?"

"How do you know this?"

"It's my job to know these things. I told you I was sorry for being late the first time, but I'm here now. You just need to let me help."

"That's it?"

"Yes. I can even help you too."

"I don't need help."

"You're wrong. You are a special girl and I can help you become even more special."

"How?"

The stranger smiled, the light in her eyes flickered strongly, "By joining me and other special girls like you."

-

After that meeting, Ruby was feared by the entire town. Her straight, dark hair was longer down to her waist. White skin whiter, her pretty green eyes had menace in them now. People commented on the rituals and dark magic Ruby relied on to keep men bewitched although she never paid attention to any of them. She was twenty-five when she was literally burned at the stake. She didn't scream, only silent tears drew white lines down her face as her body burned.

The town rebelled when a young girl turned up dead with her chest opened and her heart removed. Ruby was quickly accused and sentenced. Ruby had waited in the shadows for the young virgin to come out of her house. The second she did, Ruby snatched her and cut out her heart. Ruby didn't even think twice, whatever remorse she may have felt was perhaps buried so deep down she couldn't feel it or even know it was there.


	2. Not Ever Again

**Ch. 2 – "Not Ever Again"**

Sam had the same expression he had when Ruby started telling him the story.

"Your name is really Ruby then?" Sam was skeptical, but he was trying.

"I don't remember my name. Ruby was my mother's name - that I'll never forget."

"And you believed that demon was an angel?"

"I knew it wasn't an angel."

"So why did you do it?"

"Why not? It sounded good."

"So they killed you, you went to hell, became a demon and now what?"

"I didn't go to hell, not exactly. I was _in_ hell, yes, but I was inside a room. It didn't even feel like I was dead. There was nothing there but black walls and so little light it hurt, it would have been merciful to be entirely in the dark. I was alone, suspended in mid air, unable to move or even close my eyes."

"So, are you lying now or were you lying then when you told me _all about hell_ and the fire, Ruby?" Sam sounded upset. Ruby didn't care.

"I did, I did go to hell, the one outside the black walls. But before, I had to prove myself. One day someone walked in, well, appeared inside the room. After who knows how many hundreds, maybe thousands of years of being in that room, she asked me if I would obey, if I would follow her like I did when I was a woman. I said I would."

"Why were you in that room?"

"Precaution, I had something in me and they had to make sure I wasn't a threat to _the system_."

"A threat? Like what?"

"Untamable they called me. Too much of a risk to let wander around. If you go down, the same thing will happen to you."

"I don't understand this. What are you?"

"I'm just a demon, Sam, a lost soul among many. Many souls get locked in those dark rooms, suspended. I'm one of those."

"But why are helping me? I get you want to kill Lilith, but why are you helping _me_?"

"Hell is a gossipy place. I heard about you, I waited for you. You were a threat to the system too, but you were outside, topside, you had true potential to do something. You didn't have to plead allegiance to any one thing, you were free. With Azazel dead, you became even more dangerous. I saw the doors to hell open and I fought as hard as I could to get out and look for you. Quickly I realized it wasn't just you, it was Dean too. I had to wait after finding that out. But Dean I could never get to, he's stronger than you. He will never trust me."

"We can't save you, Ruby." Sam waved his head slightly from side to side.

"Nobody can save me, Sam. The second someone, or something, sends me back to the fire, I'm not sure I'll get out ever again. I will finish cooking. I'll forget whatever little humanity I can remember. Whatever link to that ten year old that waited for an angel to fall will burn away. I don't need you to save me, Sam. I need you to kill as many beasts like Lilith as you can."

"So you can take their place?"

"It would take hundreds and hundreds of years for another Lilith to rise among the souls."

"Like you? You said it yourself, Ruby, sooner or later, you're going to be just like them."

"You don't have to let me survive, I wouldn't stop you. You have my knife."

Sam stood up and started pacing back and forth across the motel room.

"You're lying to me. I should kill you right now and take my chances. That's what Dean would do. You wanted me to be more like him, remember?"

"I already said I wouldn't stop you, but I'm not lying."

-

Sam was on top of Ruby, both fully clothed. He was kissing her slow, so slow she tried to bite him but he wouldn't change his pace. She moved under him, but he didn't move into her. It was the first time he laid a hand on her since the one and only night they slept together months past. The only thing Sam had inside her was his tongue, moving around hers. Ruby again tried to motivate him by jamming her hand down his pants but he reached for her hand and pinned it above her head. _Not tonight_, she thought. _Not ever again._

-

Sam woke up in the middle of the night to find Ruby sleeping next to him. He had the knife hidden under his pillow – he could kill her right now. Something tells him he has to kill her, but something other tells him he shouldn't. He can't decide which is right yet, so for another day, he lets Ruby live.

The End


End file.
